A Declaration.

No, not like this...

A favorite professor of mine gave me this declaration a number of years ago. I loved it then and I still love it now.

My Declaration of Self Esteem

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

             I own everything about me: my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be: anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, and excitement. I own my mouth, and all the words that come out of it: polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud or soft and all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

            I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes and my fears.

            I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

            Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

            I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects that I do not yet know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself I can courageously look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

            However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

            When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which is discarded.

            I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

            I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me.

            I am me, and I am okay.

Satir, V. (1988). The New Peoplemaking. Mountain View, CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc. 

What I love about this statement is that it provides real ideas of empowerment to people who struggle to appreciate their own value. I really believe what this declaration says: you are uniquely you, and you own your own life.  Does that feel like good news or bad news to you? Consider this: you actually are responsible for everything about your life, AND you can choose to stay the same or you can effectively change the ways that you respond to the things that you don't like.

 "I can courageously look for the solutions to the puzzles.." 

Which parts of your life puzzle you? Honest consideration of what troubles you is the first step in correcting the areas that are really tough. And, lets be honest, we ALL have those rough times. It may be a relationship, a memory, or a situation that feels hopeless. Identify your "puzzles" and get started changing stuff. 

The second step is courage. 

Courage pushes us to move outside our comfort zone and take a risk in hopes of a new experience. Courage may have you stare down fear, intimidation or pain- but that's part of the deal. It's not supposed to be easy... it takes guts!  Sometimes, when I struggle to have courage, I ask myself... what's the worst that could happen? This logic will often help me decide if responding with courage is worth the risk. How do you measure your own risk taking?  The picture below is not courage, its stupidity. So, be smart about how you apply courage. Please, don't act stupidly. 

"I have the tools.... to be close to others"

This last section is really beautiful. Being close to others is the essence of life.  Without relationships, the emptiness of the heart can be devastating. Sadly, our negative emotions and messed up understanding of relationships sometimes keep us from being successful (in relationships).  If this feels familiar to you, remember to have [smart] courage, use the tools you already have, seek counseling and most importantly believe in yourself. 

You alone own your life. Be your biggest fan. Get out there, believe in yourself and make those changes you have always hoped you could change. Hope may be just around the corner for you.