First, go dust off your Psych 101 or Social Psych textbooks, if you want.
It has a big long name, but its an offense that I am positive you have committed in your life. It comes from the world of Social Psychology (my personal favorite) which attempts to study and observe relationships between people and within groups of people.
The Fundamental Attribution Error (I shall refer to is as FAE from here on out, because I feel like it) is when a person draws a conclusion about an observed action/ behavior of someone else by overvaluing personality based information and undervaluing situational influences.
This is a funny (and helpful) chart I found HERE
So, in plain English, we blame people's personalities for stuff more than we should.
It's understandable, because we all find some of the people in our life annoying/notthatsmart/self-absorbed/flaky/etc... We use the FAE to reinforce our own ideas about people and their actions to ourselves.
One time I got really ticked off at one of my toddlers because she would NOT put her new shoes on. She was whining and throwing the shoe, insisting she wasn't gonna do it. I kept thinking to myself: "are you kids trying to KILL ME with this attitude. b.r.a.t. ugh... just do what I tell you, please!!! wah wah wah. poor me... blah blah blah...."
Well, as it turns out, I didn't take out the paper that was stuffed inside the toe part of the shoe. duh....Mother of the year right here folks!!! It wasn't her disposition at all, it was in fact due to the careless mistake of, yours truly, me.
I'm guessing that the old addage, "don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes" may come from this idea too. So, next time you find yourself feeling negative feelings, or any feelings at all towards someone, for that matter... stop and take a second to consider BOTH their personality and the situation. Then draw your conclusions. It may save you some time and emotion.
Has this ever happened to you? Please share!
Lisa Pisa...we knew you were destined for greatness! You are writing about things that we all need to think about. And heaven knows I need all the help I can get (especially the Good Mother thing). <3
ReplyDelete