Resting

This weekend I had the opportunity to leave busy city life and head to the tranquil beaches of the Eastern Shore of Virginia for a retreat with the women of the Church I attend.  (read: this blog post will contain perspectives from my own spiritual worldview...  even if we don't share the same ideas,  I hope you still appreciate the point of this topic.)

We went to the little strip of land on the far side of the Chesapeake Bay. Notice there are no city names on the map in that area. That is how small/uninhabited it is.  In fact the directions to the camp said "Turn left at the Roses." There was no street name, just a landmark of one low-end department store. There were no cell towers or March Madness or blogging. There were only cabins, and woods, and women.

We gathered to learn about the topic of Rest. Initially, I felt that this topic was cliche and I was mostly unmotivated by the thought of some speaker talking to me about how my busy world needs to look a little more like life in rural Lancaster, PA.  (I just tried to find a great picture of the Amish culture, and I couldn't! I then realized that they don't use cameras...but I did find this. Maybe this is as funny to you as it is to me?)

Because lets be honest, when you put away your cell phone, Facebook, and reality TV what else is there to do but engage in thenameofthatcity!

Rest is all about relationships, folks! (grin).

I want to share some things I learned about myself this weekend...

But first, a little psychology!

Every person needs rest.  If you don't sleep, you will die - eventually.  Lack of sleep causes increased risk of health problems like cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes and psychological problems. Extreme sleep deprivation can lead to psychosis. Sleep disorders like narcolepsy, sleep apnea and insomnia are serious problems.

Sleep debt (official term) reduces the brain's ability to perform high level cognitive functioning. Specifically, this occurs in the frontal lobe of the brain and is referred to as "executive functioning."

Executive functioning is not exactly this:

But it IS the ability to make decisions, plan, select sensory information, work with information, and have mental flexibility. These are all really important things for health and life.  The amount of sleep required varies with age. Newborns can sleep up to 20 hours a days, while most healthy adults require sleep in the range of 7-9 hours. Do you get enough sleep?

Humans are the unique because we have to choose to rest. Animals just find a spot and lay down when they are tired.

Physical rest is just one part of the picture. Rest is also emotional and spiritual too. Our hearts need rest. We live in this amazing culture of technology which provides us so many conveniences, but at what cost?

Ask yourself:
Do I rest at all?
What does my rest look like?
Does my work have boundaries?
Am I as committed to rest as I am to work?
Do I "earn" my rest through completed work?

If you are like me, you are probably overly distracted, constantly multitasking, swept away by the demand of daily tasks... and tired.

It's not that daily work is a bad thing, it's that our response to work as a result of our emotional needs can be less than ideal. In the end, we can truly be our own worst enemy.

The fourth commandment says: "Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy."  First of all, a commandment is pretty serious business. Second, I can honestly admit that I have not thought about this commandment... ever. God took his own advice during creation and rested on the seventh day.

Painted by Michelangelo in 1512, this is the image on the beautiful Sistine Chapel that depicts day 6 (creation of man) and day 7 (God rested).

If you view God as your Holy Father, then consider that a parent commands a child to do something for their own good. It is not out of power and control, but about the knowledge of a need.

So, resting the mind is important. But how often do we actually practice this by making choices that allow us time and space to rest? Maybe you (like me) always blame circumstances. And there is truth in your justification - you will always have something important to do!

Resting is an art, not chemistry.  Legalism would tell us that Sabbath rest requires you to do nothing. But legalism isn't that cool and it always sets us up for failure. We're not perfect, and we never will be.
And besides, my faith tells me that my worth is not based on my performance (big sigh of relief).

Resting is really about ceasing. We don't cease our work because we are addicted to the gratification we receive from accomplishment. These feelings reveal the nature of our hearts. You may do work to meet any number of needs: financial, altruistic, emotional, necessity, etc...I know that when I do work, I feel good about myself. But when I fail to meet goals, I realize that I actually feel shame. I find that my ability to accomplish tasks is a way to earn my own validation. I am foolishly attempting to find my value in checking off my to-do list. I meet my own need of approval with show after show of tangible competence.

There is good news my friends - our need for rest reminds us that work will always be there and that you don't have to do it all.  At some point we need to put it down and trust that the One who created us knows what we need. You have to sleep. You have to take a break from work. Most importantly, you have to create space for relationships. Make room for your own thoughts. Stop numbing your mind and distracting your soul. Take a long deep breath and realize your limitations. You won't ever be able to do it all. Silence that voice of condemnation that reminds you of all the things you haven't done.  

The Chinese pictograph of "busy" is literally two characters placed together. Look at this image:

"Busy" is made up of "Heart" and "Death."     um...wow.

Is this why you lack joy ? Are you killing your heart by keeping busy? Are you feeding your ego through your drug of self-reliance?  I know that I continually strive for ultimate efficiency (I had two babies at one time people, how ironic!). Sometimes I think that if I just organized a little more, made an awesome plan and executed it with perfection, I would be happy. What a lie!

And, I'm sure like you, I'm never really refreshed by work - even the good work. The truth is that I am only refreshed by rest.  I am learning to set it down, embrace rest and let stuff go long enough to rest. I am learning to ignore my own feelings of failure when something goes undone and I hold tight to the promise that rest is necessary and vital to my body, mind and soul.

Do yourself a favor and join me.




*(Big thanks to Stacy Bartholomew for the great message this weekend!  Many parts of this post were inspired by your fabulous teaching!)